Diet Talk is a No-No

April 16, 2011 at 3:50 am 1 comment

Diet Talk.

Those are two horrible little words. I face it, you face it, we face it. Hell, you might even be the guilty party.

Oh, you know the ones, the people in your life that CAN’T STOP talking about their diet — what diet they are on, which one you need to get on, etc. “No, actually I don’t need to know how many carbs you can eat.”

Well, I’m sick of it. I don’t want to hear about it. I DON’T CARE.

Diet. Don’t diet. It’s your call.

I think people assume that just because I am fat I can relate to how they are feeling. Clearly I am on a diet, too. How dare I carry around this much weight and not try to starve myself.  

Let me just get this out there. I am NOT on a diet. I DON’T plan to ever go on a diet. I don’t even want you saying that word around me unless you are using it in a positive manner.

POSITIVE: “So, I’m totally going to try to add more organic food into my diet.”
NEGATIVE: “Oh, I can’t eat that cookie, I’m on this new diet where I can only eat stuff that begins with z.”

I can’t relate. I just can’t. You know what happens when I’m hungry? I eat. You know what happens when I want a cookie? I eat a cookie. I eat a cookie and don’t feel guilty about it. And when I’m eating my cookie, don’t try to guilt trip me. I will probably just flaunt my cookie at you in response (“Yum, this is the best cookie EVER,”) and we don’t need that. I would win the cookie war.

My mom would always go on different diets when I was growing up. She has battled with her weight for as long as I can remember. These diets would be ridiculous. Does anyone remember The Cabbage Soup Diet? Basically, she made a shit ton of this cabbage soup and then that’s all she could eat. You could eat as much of it as you wanted, but that’s all you could eat.

My philosophy on diets is this: I would rather be fat and happy and die young than live forever on just cabbage soup. Clearly I was not meant for this world if to be in it I can only eat cabbage soup. No, Thank You.

So what prompted this post/bitching session?

At work, they have started a Weight Watchers group. Fine. If you are interested, great, go to the meetings. But it’s not just as simple as a couple of posters and an e-mail or two. They have sent out a TON of e-mails, there are always posters up about it and apparently they can draw the fee directly from our checks. Yeah! Glory Day!

I’m not being targeted because the e-mails are clearly being sent to everyone at my work, but I’m worried that it will come to that. Like one day they are going to send out special invites to the all the fatties in the office or something. I know it’s irrational, but the way they have been bombarding us with the WW propaganda you would start to question it, too.

So to sum it up … diet talk is bad. Umkay?

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Entry filed under: Diet, Fat, Fatastic, Fattie Wisdom, Food, Me!. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

In my formative fat years … By BMI, I am too fat to live

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. sleepydumpling  |  April 17, 2011 at 12:21 am

    It never ceases to amaze me how people think that I want to hear their diet talk. And when I politely ask them to refrain from diet talk, it’s like I’m policing their actions or something. How can they not conceive that the whole world is diet friendly, all I’m trying to do is create a little corner where I can escape it?

    Reply

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